Well, you’ve left. You’ve actually left. You’re now on some life-changing 10-month European journey of cheap beer and pastries. Whatever. I’m not even sad yet. Mostly because I’m shamefully jealous but I’m also filled with too much self-pity and snot to share any of my valuable sadness…
Hello few followers I have in this Tumblr-thing.
I don’t like Tumblr very much and I don’t think it likes me either because I’ve spent the last two hours of my life (unsuccessfully) fiddling with HTML and this is my life right now:
But basically I started a new blog because my Life Guru suggested I do so (u kno whu u r ;))) so please extend your love to Life Without Lana instead of this page. Because, let’s be honest, I don’t really do anything anyway.
My friend Nick wrote this eight years ago and it’s still one of the best things I’ve ever read:
Nick12; Why do we still live with mum and dad?
Nick24; I can’t afford to move out yet.
Nick12; Why not?
Nick24; I only work in a library.
Nick12; Why aren’t we famous yet? We’re going to be…
While I’ll always be freelance to a certain extent, at the end of this year I’ll be focusing on a number of major projects that will turn the volume down on the mad scramble for work.
So, I thought I’d take stock (because it’s more fun than washing my hair or continuing to clean the house)….
Dear Clem Bastow,
As a baby writer, this has made my life that little bit better. I will pass it on to others who I know will appreciate it too and, eventually, you will take over the world.
Thank you and much love.
How To Break Up With Your Gym
This is the email I sent to my gym in order to cancel my membership. I have too much spare time.
We can’t keep seeing each other. The last five or six months have been great, they really have. The time we spent together made me feel great. I was happy and I had more energy than ever (especially when we got hot and sweaty together ;)!). But my heart just hasn’t been in it lately.
I know you’re always waiting for me to come over when I get home from work. I know you’re always happy to see me. And that’s just it. I never make time for you – instead I just throw money at you and hope the problem will go away. You’re so dedicated and kind and encourage me to be a better person but all I want to do is lay on the couch and stuff my face while watching re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy and feeling perpetually guilty about the time I’m not spending with you. I wish we could have spent more time together and I’m sorry to end it via email but I have to. I don’t think I can get through to you any other way.
I know this may be a kick in the face but I think I need to be honest with you – I’ve been seeing other gyms. They’re not as nice or friendly as you are. They don’t welcome me the same way or allow me to do my own thing or go at my own pace. This new program wears the pants in the relationship and I think it’s what I needed — somebody to kick my arse until my fitness gets back on track.
You’re wonderful. You make so many people happy and I really hope we’ll meet again someday. It’s just that the timing wasn’t right.
It’s not you, Gym, it’s me.
"Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know, for I’m one of them."
- Ray Bradbury (via bluejeansandwhitet-shirts)